tingkap

berdirinya aku tegak dan lurus seperti alif (aku boleh disambung tapi aku tidak boleh menyambung)

2011-12-26T22:20:00.002+08:00

As much as we refuse to look back, I believe we still need to analyze what we have achieved so far out of this fucked up boredom.

Years pass, climbing up for another decade yet nothing guarantees at which stairs are we stood. By presence we prove we are counting more events, more acquaintances, some lead to damages, while very little embrace love.

We gather statistics and more figures that we thought we can help future for the better. We create lies, innovate more fantasies into a dream to realize them into our so-called ideal world. Self-created through an absorption of familiarities to at least by our own deception.

Despite our trials and errors, we keep moving forward and pretend mistakes are inevitable. As long as we named human, we take it as they come and consistently apologize ourselves as it is the only way coping up with sanity.

We have been this down before, that makes you look back when you're on the top. How did it feel (by the way)? Are you happy when you are at 100% ignorant? Consuming made-up energies from heavens of the world to get through us for another day.

2011-12-20T20:33:00.000+08:00

So we're gonna end up 2011 by wondering and pondering our about.

kenapa kau tidak gembira?

2011-12-13T19:05:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile, no one really got the balls to call me Zombie.

2011-12-10T06:20:00.000+08:00

Mungkin minum susu boleh membantu.

tahun sudah baru.

2011-12-04T16:27:00.000+08:00

The right to make it right. The right to get the right boy. The right to spend time with yourself. The right to need a man. The right to have a great sex. The right to be with someone positive. The right to look for the truth. The right to fight for the good. The right to remain silent after a quiet war. The right to be there late. The right to make you wait. The right to sing a sad song. The right to write a random note. The right is just to sit there and hanging. The right to talk shit as it is a shitty world after all. The right to look for the right significant. The right to amplify energy. The right to be young and restless. The right to retype this cliche over and over. Patience is a virtue. The right to disrupt! (how short span minded we could have been). The right to go with the flow. The right to know that nature understands you. The right to know that we know nothing about nature. The right to be independent. The right to know when is the right time to be dependent. The right to be with you for the right reason. The right to fight for a reason. The right to win for a chance. The right to do things with no reason. The right to be on the right track. The right to be late but surely there. The right to be a wanna be. The right to ban poseurs. The right to have no rights.

yours truly.

2011-11-08T20:35:00.001+08:00

some words can really bring you down to prove that we are all a human being after all. no matter how righteous we think we are, i believe there are words can bring you down. to the bone.

some people told me everybody has left me alone. they were just pieces who tried to be there, just for the sake of being there. so i would remember they were those rare friends i could actually bear with. how cruel of them to say something like that? i got my complains too.

and there was this one young man told me. no wonder i havent been dating, nor to have a boy friend. nor to have a lover. it's just the way i am. a sick perfectionist.

what the fuck are you fuckers talking about? i just chose not to. i chose to be friends with you despite your intolerable characters because i just chose to. and i dont have to tell you that no one wants to be friends with you except me. i didnt have to tell you also that you are so not cool that people just dont want to talk about you. and all this while you've been trying to grow enviousness?

what the fuck in your mind bitches? how the fuck you could take it that other people have issues but not you? fuck you!

too much for november rain

2011-11-03T15:49:00.000+08:00

i have nothing to complain, nothing to brag too. but i guess, been idle for so long is not really healthy for my personal report. you know, sometimes me myself cant figure what the fuck was i've been doing for the better. and it's tough, because the world is spinning with glitches due to the ever-evolving us. we have been living with these disruptions, yet we subconsciously embrace them like it's normal and nothing harmful to our survival.

i do not know how to believe. i dont want to believe.

2011-10-03T19:13:00.000+08:00

Mohammed Hasreezal Johari.

2011-09-15T15:19:00.000+08:00

i always have this feeling that im gonna die. soon. sometimes it gets scary. most of the time, i just fuck it.

i have no issues.

2011-09-03T15:13:00.000+08:00

friday

2011-08-19T16:51:00.000+08:00

now you're thinking what exactly you want in life?

i hate you hate hate hate ha teh hateahatehhateh ahteahthahate ahteahtahahtehate hate hate ahte hatehh ehthehhate ahte hateh ahteh athathate hate hate ahtehtehatehate

Mau terus bermain api so I have something to burn this desire...

2011-06-07T13:42:00.000+08:00

yours truly.

kononnya azam tahun baru.

2010-12-07T20:53:00.000+08:00

gotta work on the eyes.

saya suka pen biru.

2010-12-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

i wanna be malas just like you

2010-11-24T18:34:00.000+08:00

2010-11-22T14:08:00.002+08:00

I’m sorry for crashing on your couch at random. Sometimes I did it on purpose; sometimes I just needed to be dead for the night.

I’m sorry that I slept next to your boyfriend on a fuck- job- tomorrow- wild night. You should see me trying to push my ass off from the house, in denial. I wasn’t ready to die alone.

I’m sorry that I heard over you called early in the morning, wishing good morning to your sunshine when I was there in his arms. I felt your naivety, his sweet talk kills.

You have to know nothing happened. You have a great guy.

semalu-malu i, i dont hang with my exes.

2010-11-10T12:24:00.001+08:00

yours truly.

2010-11-07T00:58:00.000+08:00

Kamu orang-orang pelik, tidak akan pernah tahu betapa sepi tinggal di sini. Betapa cengengnya kami setiap kali kamu mengambil kesempatan atas kelemahan kami.

Kamu datang dengan senyuman, memang sukar untuk diramal. Selalunya kami menerima sebagai harapan dan memberi hati sebagai ganti. Mungkin itu tidak bermakna, tapi hanya itu yang kami ada.

Bila sudah jauh, kami masih beringat-ingat. Kamu yang kaya raya punya masalah berbeza dengan kami yang sederhana. Kami membina hidup dengan bait realiti, walhal kamu masih mahu terus bermimpi.

2010-11-01T13:24:00.000+08:00

sebenarnyakan, insiden-insiden macam ni kena jadi, barulah nampak kehanjingan you.

Ok, I pulang dulu.

2010-11-01T13:12:00.000+08:00

Sebenarnyakan, I lah awek paling emosi yang you pernah kenal. Bila I nampak you two pegang tangan, I duduk dalam kereta pandang you all, I senyum tau. Sakitnya hati, nasib baik ada kompilasi CD cuba ringankan beban I.

Dada ni sakit jugak, macam baru sekejap I told you that I'd rather not seeing plot-plot gatal coming from you. Nak buat jangan tunjuk depan I. Walaupun tona you bergurau, you yakinkan I yang you takde apa-apa dengan dia. Lepas tu, I pun layan relax je.

Tapi ternyata bila you lesap tiba-tiba kawan you turun kasi kunci kereta. Apa ke hanjingnya? You bawak I ke parti taik ni then you left me just like that? Sebab dia baru je muntah teruk? Dan itu tanggungjawab you jaga dia macam you selalu jaga dia?

Ok, I pulang dulu.

2010-10-26T15:37:00.000+08:00

you see we constantly question, but most of the time dont bother to find answers.

what do you want kiddo?

2010-10-26T14:14:00.000+08:00

Idleness, we hang close lately. we speak voidness, emptiness and zombies-poking. Why don't you say nice things instead? Everybody wants to look good in everybody's world, well at least as you think you do.

The boy, who sat next to me, I know you're in mess. You've been coping your only 2 hands grabbing hundreds of asses constantly producing systematic crap. I wouldnt mind hear you complain. After all, we shit our spit and sweeten them with cheap jokes and cold choco latte.

We're always in this together right? Sometimes when we talk, we know that we dont really listen to each other. We just want to hear ourselves talking. That's when you think you are special, nothing narcissus, just plain special. Hahaha fuck you!

gaya, muthu samy.

2010-09-23T18:36:00.000+08:00

you know i always come back.

2010-09-20T16:20:00.000+08:00

maaf ya, aku sudah mulai screen calls. there's nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with me, aku cuma tidak mau dunia tersasar berpuluh darjah lagi.

2010-09-19T13:28:00.002+08:00

the pops we used to talk about

2010-09-17T19:28:00.000+08:00

the piece found in Russian Market.

2010-09-17T19:26:00.000+08:00

i heart her despite her mulut puaka

2010-09-12T16:13:00.000+08:00

2010-08-27T15:08:00.002+08:00

jangan dibilang aku jalang
aku cuma berteman bayang,
belayar jiwa melayang
ditelan pahit dibuang sayang.

usah dikata aku mereka,
bermain-main cinta sesuka,
menyambut leka sampai terluka.

sudah acap aku tersentap,
kau hilang tiada tetap, malam pasti di rumah rehat,
dia di sisi dan kamu geliat,
tiada guna aku meratap.

jangan dilihat aku penjahat,
kerna melayan jiwa yang penat,
hati liat sudah menyiat,
daku jua menyimpan hasrat.

2010-08-16T00:37:00.001+08:00

i drown to burst and making myself a drama queen by telling you how much i regret having a cat.
i hate to suffer this depression turmoil that may distract me from have enough focus for tomorrow's war.
i know i have to stop worrying for enough said that he's jantan, he will come back soon.
however, as i try to move forward, i find every little thing i do will lead me to him, i'm so confused what kind of relationship we have.
argh this cant be happening, he's coming back right?

it's just a cat, aku tak perlu emo sampai macam ini kan? i just need to be assured that he's out there somewhere, looking for a little adventure, in the end he'll be back. kan???

I realize I've been letting go the pasts, but not our friendship.

2010-08-15T22:19:00.000+08:00

N’ I don't want to know ‘bout evil, only want to know ‘bout love

2010-08-15T07:11:00.004+08:00

Apparently, I don't want to know. To read your reports everyday and makes me to reply you back? Maybe you should get a new girl (you know you can choose anyone you want to), I'm sure they think it's cute that you have fed your cat and you are wide awake while your gf is soundly sleeping next to you.

Seriously, I really don't want to hear. Of how your days been and how you are seen. And I'm not interested to share mine either. You're just one of those plain stories. We have met, I have lived your asshole-ness before, and you are just one of those made-up tragic characters . This cycle is so cliche that makes me want to choreograph the whole plot with some fiction from the movies, with myself as the typical leading act.

Everybody gets bored.
What makes you think I would be there for you anytime you need to kill the bore? You sure got my rates that I am an expensive assassin, I kill bore with sores?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stRmPH0PbPs&feature=related

Drop Box

2010-08-09T21:50:00.000+08:00

nah dengar nih, now shut up.

2010-08-07T10:43:00.001+08:00

yours truly.

kucin hemsem

2010-08-03T11:43:00.000+08:00

kaki tangan

2010-08-03T11:42:00.000+08:00

yours truly.

KH

2010-08-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

kaki tangan

2010-08-03T11:33:00.000+08:00

2010-08-02T01:21:00.001+08:00

Baby,
I faham dengan honesty and all, iya...you jujur dengan kelemahan you, but doesnt mean you can get away with it. Walaupun fizikalnya you memang handsome di mata I, dan juga di mata banyak perempuan lain.

Baru-baru ini, I rasa self-esteem you merundum jatuh. Mungkin, ramai orang bilang I akan cari you balik. Alamak, rupa-rupanya tak! (at least not any time soon). C'mon baby, we had a really terrible fight, and you could see how much you pissed me and how I pissed you. How would you expect me to be friends with you like old days? Relaxlah, maybe I would call you for a coffee in 2 years time, just to see how you doing, catching up and be nice.

Janganlah naik angin sebab I tak reply SMS you sangat. Jujurnya, SMS panjang-panjang baru ni I tak baca pun! Maaf, I faham kepenatan nak karang semua tu, when in the end they didnt work. Haish, must be a disappointment to you kan. I cant afford to be in this dramarama anymore.

You tau, I tak faham dengan psycho reaction you ni. I just didnt reply your text as you expected me to do. Hmm, why in the first place I need to fulfill your expectations? I thought we have over this?

Sayang,
kita dah lama kawan. I paham mesti susah nak get over manis pahit kita bersama kan? Mungkin you dah paranoid dengan Coke, atau another awek UiTM lagi...I harap you setuju tindakan menyimbah Coke dekat lelaki bodoh (at times) adalah normal untuk perempuan emo cool macam saya.

Saya nak jadi normal, sebab it's simple and easy. You tau you complicated, banyak sangat terbuai dengan mediawi. Grammar saya banyak tak betul, hehe awak pun apa kurangnya. Tapi I peduli apa, I'm not a proper writer pun, yang penting orang boleh faham I cuba cakap apa?

But I guess, it is very hard to get everybody to understand. It's like putting an expectation or another false hope that always works on different language.

i know i am an asshole when i'm friends with ones.

2010-07-11T19:17:00.003+08:00

yours truly.

stop calling me sunshine you rempit asshole.

2010-07-06T18:45:00.000+08:00

2010-07-02T16:32:00.000+08:00

kau attention seeker, cuba melekat sampai aku asyik teringat.

bila sudah liat, kau mula menyiat-nyiat.

babi lah.

2010-06-16T02:11:00.000+08:00

Source: Phlebotomistyours truly.

Howard

2010-06-10T18:52:00.000+08:00

yours truly.

t shirt illustrations on the Behance Network

2010-06-10T12:11:00.000+08:00

t shirt illustrations on the Behance Network

love love lvoe.

yours truly.

2010-06-10T09:45:00.001+08:00

craving for arguments.

2010-06-09T13:59:00.000+08:00

Aku dengki sebab kau tak kerja dan oportunis ni datang cetak buku untuk kau, dijlid dan dipasarkan utk bahan bacaan budak-budak sekarang.
Aku jeles sebab kau mendapat perhatian utk hasil yang terlalu di overrated kan. Kau siapa?
Aku kecewa dgn industri tempatan, terlalu menjadi oportunis semata-mata untuk untung. Makan apa dikasi, yang penting kenyang perut senang hati.

Aku benci media kita. Sebab turut keliru menyuap masyarakat dengan isi syok sendiri. I hate you and you and you and you.

2010-06-09T11:59:00.000+08:00

I wanted to see 'em be perfect that I forget my whole purpose of creating. I was looking for some fun, aren't I?
And as they say, no one could ever handle me.

2010-06-08T23:52:00.001+08:00

consistency, i hate you. apa-apa pun, pls dont turn me into a c. o. d freak.

2010-06-07T01:03:00.000+08:00

Fantasy, we need to have a reality check on that.

Sebenarnya, siapa yang tidak mau mengambil jalan pintas? Memang senang memilih fantasi, semuanya boleh.

Bermain cinta dengan bapak orang, meliwat kambing biri-biri, berguru dengan si buta mata satu dari gua Tempurung. Semua boleh, pilih-pilih mau rasa mana satu.

Jangan kecoh, realitinya kau hidup dalam fantasi. Kau tau ini semua fantasi bila kau tengok berita hari-hari. Real people they dont do that. Layan jatuh cinta setiap hari. Berkawan dengan setan, bermain dengan setan. Lantas keliru fantasi kah realiti kah. Buang tembuni dalam plastik hitam. Tunggu anjing tepi jalan mana-mana jumpa dan makan.

Dan kau masih memilih fantasi kerana realitinya hidup kau macam haram. Kau tidak dapat apa kau mau dalam realiti. Apa yang kau cakap ni? Realitinya kau cuma lelaki bosan yang perasan kau perlu mendapat perhatian. Sila simpan fantasi bermain-main dengan rambutku. Kalau kau mau realisasikan fantasi mu itu, cubalah. Kita tengok dunia tersasar beberapa darjah lagi.

"Tiada yang pasti selain dari matahari terbit."

Aku masih terbawa-bawa dengan ini. They sound so real that made you realize kalau besok kau bangun, hari pasti sudah siang. Mungkin burung-burung berkicau cuba mengacau. Tapi kau tahu, itulah hari baru.

2010-06-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

setiap kali mau lari, bayang kau muncul lagi.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-9PX9gtjgc

2010-05-30T11:10:00.002+08:00

you know what they say, go out and smell the coffee!
ok, I'm gonna get out from this room. My coffee is getting cold, on the table, at living hall.

2010-05-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

seperti ingin menendang mu setiap kali kau memanggil aku dengan nama itu. Sunshine, such a lonely word.

hey dark witches around the world

2010-05-23T14:33:00.003+08:00

be careful, don't be like Nancy.

2010-05-23T14:24:00.000+08:00

Mereka kata, gila sorang-sorang orang panggil orang gila.

Orang gila satu lagi tiba, dua-dua ketawa.

Apa kita perlu orang gila ketiga?

this awakes me, you know they pop when they reach you down there ;)

2010-05-21T16:55:00.000+08:00

yours truly.

2010-05-20T15:48:00.004+08:00

Ok, I realized that I've been telling you stories. Some secrets and relation shit.

Dont confuse your seat, we are not going anywhere.

bingit bisu

2010-05-20T15:08:00.003+08:00

Despite your persistence to let them see, you know, putting some brackets into a sentence, or maybe commas, or maybe more jargons, they would see what are you trying to say.

Maybe those are not necessaries baby, the minute you sing the tone, you irritate most ears.

formspring.me

2010-05-20T13:06:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/rinajainal

call me names

2010-05-17T19:27:00.001+08:00

I'm sunshine,
baby
sweet
Fraulein,
sociably responsible friend,
rock star girl,
bla bla bla.

Why do I smell poseurs?

2010-05-14T11:04:00.002+08:00

Oh adik, tak perlu drama sangat boleh?

2010-05-12T19:43:00.002+08:00

You know how bored I am? Ok, I google 'bored':

bored:
a zombie reaction

zombie:
hopeless emo

emo:
hope

fuck you bores!

fuck this overwhelms.

2010-05-11T20:48:00.000+08:00

2010-05-09T02:38:00.003+08:00

Arggh,
I could only see tummy instead boobies.

2010-05-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

You know what, being inspired is the most cold things to fling in lately. You know when you can only think of 1234560850980048073998056438564817 like every second of your move?

How can you come out with good words when you are subconsciously raging for numbers numbers numbers.

2010-05-07T17:52:00.002+08:00

I miss my mother. I wonder if she misses me. Tiap kali call, nak marah je. Bad habits memang tak cool. I ain't proud of that.

Oh mak, I'm not that little girl anymore.

2010-05-06T10:03:00.001+08:00

at the end of the day, you are just attracted to another aliens. Is that what you want?

A fiction.

tingkap

2010-04-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

tingkap

yours truly.

2010-04-28T00:45:00.001+08:00

I like you.

2010-04-20T23:26:00.001+08:00

Kadang-kadang aku rasa gegendang rasa ku sudah kenyal. Setiap apa yang diminta pasti dapat. Memang, bukanlah senang nak dapat, panjang ceritanya.

Bila sudah seperti robot memang takde cerita banyak. Buat sajalah. Simpulkan dengan senyum.

2010-04-19T18:59:00.000+08:00

"Options"

Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.

2010-04-18T23:42:00.001+08:00

An impulsive move made me call for a body scrub appointment. As lazy as cats could be, it's like you cant just do your own dusting anymore.

I was actually spent hundreds just to get my tits touched and rubbed.

Racun dunia.

2010-04-12T20:20:00.004+08:00

Rata-rata kata perempuan. Tapi itu terlalu dasar. Dan aku mahu menjerit kepada The Changcuters, dorang memang kasar.

Ada juga kata harta. Pangkat. Ditelan pahit dibuang sayang.
Bagi mereka yang dimadu, itulah racun hidup yang perlu ditelan. Kan?

2009-12-31T00:40:00.003+08:00

Do you remember the last time you had your body climbing up the hill, and your soul is being eaten by some fishes beneath the sea? In between, you actually have jumped off from the cliff without even knowing you were marking the steeps.

Check your pulse, go down to your nerve, do you hear the beats? Do you believe your blood rush to the streams?

Did you Wiktionary the word they have been telling you? Your body acts yes when your mind says no. Have you found the right Thesaurus for that? Your brains are dead, but your hands still lead. What the fuck are you? A kid with some weird suicidal tendencies who never grow up, building some walls for the sake of in need for a defense strategy before the villains come and attack (of course, you are the hero in your made play). Just look into your heart and stay awake, that's what Jung believe, that's what we read.

Say hello to a black cold stoned heart. Welcome 2010, how much time do we have left?

2009-12-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

Siapa-siapa itu?
Manusiakah hantu?
Terus memandang ku
Gelora dalam kalbu.

Is this supposed to be an insult?

2009-12-08T19:33:00.002+08:00

You are being diagnosed as psychopath for not being able to read her inferiority-complex. And some voices tell you that, you just dont know how to make friends. I am sorry that I dont know how to. I hear evil, I see evil, I speak evil. (playing victim role) What do you play?

2009-11-21T19:12:00.002+08:00

2009-11-21T11:05:00.002+08:00

Hi,

2009-11-16T21:09:00.001+08:00

Jang Junk Jung

2009-11-13T14:32:00.000+08:00

Inside all of us is a monster child

2009-11-11T13:02:00.001+08:00

2009-11-09T13:06:00.000+08:00

Brush up, brush up

It's not enough

Tune in, tone down

Blocks fall one by one

2009-11-07T12:00:00.004+08:00

Can I teach you how to dance slowly?
You see how they fake smile, silent and die?

Making friends with fear, getting in easily?

We come bore and sore looking for the absolute world

And we still fake smile, silent and lie.

Ruth ruth,

Open to fairy tales, myths and popcorns

If neuron is power, every mirror has a flower

Maybe, you should have done with thinkings.

2009-11-02T15:09:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking
...is thinking
thinking about tomorrow
...thinking of you

Geylang si paku Geylang

2009-10-24T12:29:00.000+08:00

And I received an email from where I (could be) belong,

"you will be billed for not controlling your department"

FUCK YOU CAPITALIST SUCKER!!!

2009-10-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

I'm liking the looks. I need to get inspired. And it's time to bed.

Cheers darlin'

2009-10-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

how to tell this in one language?

2009-10-13T13:36:00.001+08:00

Pelangi dan Pengejar

She could be worth it

2009-10-13T11:56:00.001+08:00

I know you're in there

2009-10-11T18:30:00.000+08:00

They say, specialization is only for insects.

2009-10-11T17:32:00.001+08:00

And another voice goes, 'huh?'

A little note

2009-10-10T17:44:00.001+08:00

Towards transforming Syakilla to Karen O, ringtone Britney harus dihapuskan dulu

TIADA CATATAN LANGSUNG BULAN SEPTEMBER! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU GIRL!

2009-10-06T22:21:00.001+08:00

2009-08-31T14:36:00.002+08:00

I do not know where am I going, but any road will get me there.

I'm an assasin, and I am expensive.

2009-08-30T06:13:00.000+08:00

I NEED A FACE LIFT

2009-08-27T09:57:00.004+08:00

Hello Shannyn!

Kau tau...

2009-08-25T17:09:00.005+08:00

Kau tau aku.

Kau tau akulah teman yang kau boleh cari bila semua temanmu belum sampai ke kotak fikir mu.

Kau tau aku, perempuan yang boleh jadi teman lelaki mu.

Kau kononnya tau jiwa ku, tapi apa yang kau tau?

Apa yang kau betul-betul tau?

Seorang perempuan 'random' yang bisa menggeletek hati mu sampai berbunga?

Perempuan yang bisa mencabar akal mu lantas kau rasa kau harus lagi lama di hujung talian sana?

Kau rindu itu bukan?

Tapi awas dengan pelawaan makan mu, silap-silap kau akan kejar drama-rama di petang Sabtu.

Mungkin dia cuma bergurau...

2009-08-13T18:31:00.004+08:00

"Kau tahu kan kita sama-sama penat."

Gembira,

letaknya di dalam kaca, pantas rapuh bila-bila masa

Berderai ketawa ia lihat kau jatuh

Lantas kau cipta lagi kaca yang baru

Bersinar berkilau bila kau mahu matahari biaskan laharnya

Dan bila bulan muncul, di situ kau menjadi bacul

Tidak mahu sendiri, belum lagi.

2009-07-01T22:15:00.002+08:00

Jangan biarkan aku jauh tertinggal.

Suami Aku Dari Masa Depan

2009-06-14T18:03:00.005+08:00

Penat. Penat. Penaat!!

Aku baru touch down dari Boston tengah malam semalam, pagi ini aku sudah kena memandu ke Kuantan seorang diri. Balik hari.

Penat ku dikuasa dua bila aku terlajak ke kampung orang asli sejauh lebih 30 batu dari highway KL. Ok, aku sudah terlalu penat untuk bercerita pasal jalan gelap dan sempit itu.

Anyway, aku mandi. Selak-selak kerja sambil dengar Billie Holiday sikit, aku terlelap.

Mimpi baru nak masuk montaj logo Hallmark, telefon berbunyi.

Aduh, janganlah mamat tu.
Eh, private number?

"Hello?"

Suara lelaki. Hmm..manly. Tiba-tiba aku merasa sedikit segar.

"Ya? Siapa ni?"

"Sudah lena?"

Wah, sopan tuturnya.

"Tak lagi, about to. Ini siapa ya?"

"Still have your notebook on our bed? I mean your bed?"

Kalau sudah masuk adegan tilam ni, aku dah tak boleh tolerate.

"Ini siapa?" Tona ku sudah keras. Bekas-bekas kekasih ku semuanya hanjing. Ini mungkin kerja mereka.

"I'm your husband. "

"Wtf!! Jangan nak mengarutlah wey! Look, it's been a long day, I need to sleep. "

"Please, listen. Dont hang up. You always do this. You've been always like this. You just dont want to listen."

Nadanya sangat serius tapi,
"I would definitely not listening to a stupid fuck like you."

"I'm your husband from the future, I need you to hear this, please I am sorry. I know I patut bekerja keras untuk you, for the family. Oh, we have beautiful kids together. We have kids like you've always wanted..."

"Huh?"

"But I just...lost you. Kita dah takde masa."

"Habis tu, buat apa penat-penat call ni?

"Please baby, I'm serious. I want you to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop working ini efek jangka panjang jangan jadi ignorant... "

"Kalau betul, who are you? Macamana kita jumpa? You ada Facebook? I dah penat cari you. "

"Of course I cant tell you. Nanti you dah tak nak lepak dengan I."

"Apsal? You buruk sangat ke?"

"Jangan risau, I memang hensem lelaki Melayu. Memang dulu I tak kaya, tapi novel I sell-out akhirnya. Rezeki I bertambah-tambah sejak you tinggalkan I dan anak-anak...tapi, semua tu tak berguna....

Click.

Aku hung up. Ah writer rupanya, memang pandai mereka imaginasi.

Dah berapa minit, dia tak call balik. Aku dah tak fikir apa. Sambung tidur. Esok pagi conference call dari Hong Kong.